I totally stole this post from my friend Amanda but I read her thoughts about this and then started to comment and it turned into a really long comment and figured it was best just to make my own post about it. A little back ground on her and I....when we were teenagers we fought a lot!!! (Kind of an understatement) we were good friends but were also both very immature and got mad at each other over some stupid stuff. I always enjoy reading her posts though because I think we are kind of really similar on a lot of our views which is probably why we butted heads so much as teens. Any ways we got over it around age 15 or 16 after a huge blow up fight. The end result was that we both realized that we were just insecure and that we were allowing others to determine how we felt about ourselves....wow this is gonna be a long post...
Anyways we ended up writing a contract stating that we were the only people that would determine how we feel about ourselves. Lets just say our confidence exploded after that and I think that little contract and what I realized about myself in that conversation made me as confident as I am today. Which has brought some drama in my life from women that are not as confident, and quite frankly people can hate me all they want but I know who I am and those that truely know me love that I am so confident.
Moving on, Amanda had a post about women letting themselves go after they get married and I was reading it thinking Oh my I feel the same way! I hate when women do that! Not only because it is false advertising but also because I feel like if every girl truly knew how amazing she was she would want to look her best everyday. So here is what my comment on her post turned into..
This kind of reminds me of our little contract we drew up and both signed oh ten years a go or so? I still have an index card in my old scriptures that says I am GORGEOUS! on it. Do you remember that? One of the things that Ryan always says about why he fell in love with me was more because of my confidence than the fact that I make such an effort to look good everyday. Granted being in the beauty industry it is more important to me than to others to have my toes freshly polished, acrylic nails done, hair colored and regularily trimmed, skin tan and make up on. But I am a walking advertisement for myself and what I do. Also I grew up with parents that did not allow, sweats, pjs, slippers, or undone hair out of the house. Because of that I still can't leave home with out getting ready...what if I run into someone!?!?!? The reason i do all of these things though is not because my husband expects me to or because it's how he met me or because we don't have a baby yet. It is because I feel like a million bucks when I look my best and when I know I have put effort into how I look each day. Yes this attitude often gets a lot of people that tend to think i am cocky and arrogant, but a lot of it comes from our little contract and the importance I feel that there is in how we percieve ourselves and how we carry ourselves. Which doesn't really mean we have to put make up on everyday and do our hair all fancy just that we have to get to the point each day that we feel good when we look in the mirror.
Take for example my sister Melinda, she looks gorgeous everyday. She doesn't go to the extemes I do but she does her hair, puts on the amount of make up she thinks is necessary and gets dressed. I admire that she does this with out fail with 3 girls, ages 5, 2 (almost 3) and 6 months who she also gets ready, dressed and hair at least combed. AND her husband is only home two days a week...Why does she do it? Because it makes her feel good. So it isn't so much I think about what you do to get ready but that you do get ready.
Now as I mentioned earlier this confidence can come at a price. I have had some females in my life that have had problems with me that always boil down to my confidence and security in not my looks but in the person I am. Part of this contract we wrote was that we would acknowledge where it was we came from and that because of that divine heritage we were beautiful. I know that I am a daughter of God and that alone makes me an amazing gorgeous wonderful person. If others see that me knowing that with out a doubt is cockiness than so be it. But I know who I am, where I came from, where I am going and that I can get there because of that.
So in short I think it is important to still get ready everyday so you can feel your best for yourself. The fact that your husband appreciates it is just a bonus. I feel truly blessed to know that I am beautiful and that because of that knowledge I look the way I do. So whatever makes you feel the best is important, but lets be realistic, messy hair, needing to shower and sweats aren't gonna get you there. Of course this is just all my opinion...Beauty does come from with in but if you are beautiful on the inside it shows on the outside through your confidence, if you feel good you look good but only of course if you choose to...
This picture is a flatering picture of me...If I was back home I would have put one of me and Amanda up but this is about the age I stumbled upon what has become the large amount of confidence I have today!
7 comments:
ha ha ha I think that's a simple slap in my face. I am sitting here reading this with my pj's on, my hair not done, and no make-up on. lol. What a coincidence. It is hard though to find the TIME to do all those things you WANT to do, when you have a child. But if you put your mind to it, you can do it. (most days I do really!) :) P.S. Love the pic!
Aw thanks, Tiff!! I seriously don't remember the contract thing, but it sounds like something we would do!! I actually got a couple comments (not on my blog) but to my personal e-mail from some women who said they didn't think they needed to get everyday because their husband loved them for who they were, not for putting on make-up everyday. I guess they totally missed the point. Plus, they talked about how busy they were with kids, but it made me sad because to me, it was just excuses. Thanks for the post!!
Thanks for this post. I guess it takes someone else saying all of this for me to realize that I should make an effort to look nice so I feel better about myself. Sadly I do my hair maybe once a week...if that. Anyways, thanks for the reality check.
Oh Tiffany, you are beautiful! I loved Amanda's post and I love yours! Im tempted to dig up a picture of the both of you at that time because I know I have one somewhere in my house. If I blogged ever I would write a whole post in response to both you and Amanda's, but I am a blog slacker so I just wanted to tell you how much I agree with the fact that it has everything to do with knowing you true worth! Love you Tiff!!
Corinne you totally should!!! Good times!!! I guess I just get frustrated when women don't give themselves credit for being beautiful. But I will say this, I only have BEAUTIFUL friends and just think they all should give themselves a little more credit :)
I love this Tiff! It's people like you who make me want to be better. I wish I had your confidence! I'm working on it though. =)
Ha ha Tiff I love you this blog is totally you! And I am with you I feel so much better when I get ready, but I must admit I am not affraid to do the occasional sweats and pony tail out in public and it is because I am confident and don't care what people think :) but I do agree with you that just because your married does not mean you should let yourself go, and not only for your spouse but for yourself, after gaining 10lbs and working my butt off (and still working my butt off) I realised I feel so much better when I am working out and tan and getting all done up I love it! But anyways I love you Tiff you are amazing and i love your confidence!
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